🔗 Share this article Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Program Late-night's top entertainers devoted the airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy. Colbert's Witty Spin Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with." Colbert's target was the new plan which allows foreign individuals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, or "premium" option for 5 million. The program's page guarantees processing "in record time." "One thought here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert joked. He explained that the program is also intended to "get cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, with significant payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he continued. "The most thorough screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will let affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection." "It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval ratings during financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he said. This week, in a effort to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal. "Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.
Late-night's top entertainers devoted the airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy. Colbert's Witty Spin Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with." Colbert's target was the new plan which allows foreign individuals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, or "premium" option for 5 million. The program's page guarantees processing "in record time." "One thought here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert joked. He explained that the program is also intended to "get cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, with significant payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he continued. "The most thorough screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will let affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection." "It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval ratings during financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he said. This week, in a effort to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal. "Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.